Frequently Asked Questions
As this is still a brand new site obviously not
many questions have been frequently asked but if you have question
about Australia then you can contact
, we'll try to help you with anything you would like to
know and if we don't know we'll make something up!
Q: Do you have electricity in Australia?
A: Yes, but not everywhere, at Cape Tribulation
in the Daintree, North Queensland, we don't. More
info..
Q: Will we see kangaroos hopping through the
streets?
A: Yes, in Cooktown
you can see them at night, and in Canberra
they have come in to the city parks during droughts.
Q: Will there be crocodiles in the streets?
A: Only during high water, like during the king
tides in Cairns where one poor croc got run over by a car in
the industrial area and during the floods in Katherine where
an aerial photograph showed a crocodile in the middle of the
main street in front of the supermarket swimming along.
Q: Do you have monkeys in Australia?
A: YES! Several zoos throughout Australia have
monkeys! There are none in the wild, if you look at the world
map and follow the islands of Indonesia along in you will notice
that (if you have a good map) somehere to the east of Bali,
there is a line on the map called the Wallace line. This is
where Mr. Wallace, a Pommie biologist if I remember correctly,
noted the changeover between Asian and Australian flora and
fauna.
Below is a list of not too frequently asked questions:
Q: Can I pick up my camper van in Auckland and drop it off
in Darwin?(Belgium)
A: Sure, take a ferry, change the registration plates from New
Zealand to Australian, and find a way to calm down the people
you rented it from when they hear where their vehicle has ended
up.
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it
rain
on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around
watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad
tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water...
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of
places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you
send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey
Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?
(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific
which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every
Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you
get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y,
which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every
Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races.
Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.
Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female
population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all
year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter gatherers.
Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely
handled and make good pets.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but
I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they
drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath
them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human
urine before you go out walking.
Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact
the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you
help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
ASK US A QUESTION
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