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Amazing Australian Inventions |
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Due to a long overseas trip I was not able to visit him until mid 2005, but on return to Australia found in my postbox the next stage of Commander Grah's world saving efforts, the First Manual of the Interstellar Space Mission which announced he had contructed the Spaceship Butterfly, the fastest ship ever, with free onboard drinks, that measured 100 metres in height. |
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I decided I had to learn more about how Commander
Grah was going to save the world so headed for Mowbray River Road
but I could not locate number 100, nor could I see the Spaceship
Butterfly, which I had expected to be visible from the road being
100 metres high, (later Commander Grah explained to me that, as
he did not expect me that day, he had not opened the interdimensional
shields outside his property, so no wonder I could not find him!)
Not much later another letter from the Commander arrived, this time
with a map, and the comforting news that this time the interdimensional
shields would be opened.
Thanks to this helpful gesture I managed to locate nr. 100 without
any worries on my next attempt and was welcomed by Commander Grah
in to the headquarters of the Interstellar Space Mission.
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I was somewhat disappointed that there was no equipment or spaceship for me to admire and photograph, but the Commander explained to me that they were still in design stage, but he was only one component short before he could proceed with construction of working prototypes, all he needed was someone to contribute a rocket in which the fuel never runs out, and the Gramajica and the spaceship that is powered by this, could be built. Once built the Gramajica would be enclosed in a casing so nobody could see how this energy source worked, as otherwise rogue nations could use it for evil purposes, in the same manner as nuclear energy had been used for bombs. To avoid this the Gramajica would only be available for rent (not for sale) in an enclosed casing, to be returned to the factory if it had come to the end of its lifespan.
Commander Grah continued to tell me how hard his one-man fight to save the world is, as he gets absolutely no co-operation from the authorities. He had made a hundred copies of the Interstellar Space Mission Manual and had sent them to John Howard and other ministers, to George Bush, to NASA etc. and not one of them had bothered to reply! Not even greenie minister Bob Brown had been in touch with him to learn more about the clean energy of the Gramajica!!! He shook his head in disbelief at the lack of interest. He also told me that not long ago he had wanted to get a Mazda van on the road to organize some transport for him and his future followers to get around but it needed some work done. He placed a $60.- ad in the Mossman Gazette requesting quotes from competent petrol mechanics to flush out the fuel lines on the van. Mechanics keen to make some money here could send in their written quotations to Lord of Saviour, Interstellar Space Mission, 100 Mowbray RIver Road, but would you believe it, not one mechanic bothered to send in a quote!! To make matters worse, the editor at the Mossman Gazette also desecrated the flag of the Interstellar Space Mission by cutting off the edges in this ad, and would not even consider a refund on the costs of the ad to compensate Commander Grah for this!
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As you can see, with so much ignorance in the world
Commander Grah needs help!
If you are interested in saving the world with unlimited perpetual
motion energy, or would like a trip on the Starship Butterfly, or
own a rocket in which the fuel never runs out that you can contribute
to this mission, please write to;
Commander Grah
Lord of Saviour
Interstellar Space Mission
100 Mowbray River Road
Port Douglas 4871
Queensland
Australia
Click here to read the full text of the First Manual of the Interstellar Space Mission
Adelaide car mechanic Lance Hill had a brilliant idea in 1946 and came up with a clothes line that was so practical and user friendly that every Australian wanted one and in the next 50 years his factory produced one million of them and made him a multi-millionaire. Next to the barbeque this is standard equipment for every Aussie back yard.
To help life savers get back to shore after reaching their rescuee Bondi Life Savers Club captain Lyster Ormsby in 1907 invented a large reel from which a rope ran out that attached to the life saver with a belt. This has helped them save at least 400 000 people in the nearly one century since starting the club.

Terry Bediavas is a farmer in Paringa, South Australia,
and when locusts swarmed down in plague proportions to eat his crop
he put his brain in to gear and invented the locust muncher pictured
above.
It works on the same principle as birds getting sucked into jet
engines and shreds the locusts into pieces and eliminates them without
any chemicals. See the machine in action on the Youtube video below...
In 1993 two Melbourne engineers invented this plastic bag that filters out ethylene and keeps vegetables fresh for a long time.

Two Cairns inventors, John Christie and Lou Brits,
have regularly made headlines in their local newspaper, the Cairns
Post, because they have solved the world's energy and pollution
problems. The machine pictured above will, once kickstarted from
a battery, produce 1000 watts of DC electricity twenty four hours
a day, every day, which will be stored in a battery bank and then
inverted to AC power and connected directly into the home or business,
all this without ever needing extra fuel.
To make things even better, the batteries will last ten years and
the magnets that are responsible for the generation will have an
effective life of one thousand three hundred years. Read more about
it on their website www.lutec.com.au

So far they have not received a Nobel Prize yet but they have been awarded the 2001 Skeptics Bent Spoon award (presented to the "perpetrator of the most preposterous piece of pseudoscientific piffle") at the Australian Skeptics National Convention in Brisbane on November 10, 2001. The Skeptics Society's engineer, Ian Bryce, concluded that their generator, claimed to produce 30 times more output than input, and slated to solve the world's energy crisis, actually has an output 33% of its input. More info on the website of the Australian Skeptics Society.
Inventor Andrew Larkey started marketing meat and vegetable flavored bottled water to canine connoisseurs in december 2003. It's like a sports drink for dogs he said and put his Dog Plus K-9 Water on sale across Australia in flavors ranging from bacon and beef to liver, chicken and corn. A 600ml bottle will set you back $2.95

In the late 1990s a Brisbane meatpie manufacturer
announced the invention of the pie with in-built sauce, althought
the first reactions were ecstatic, ignoring the fact that the sauce
was now also hot, it does not appear to have taken off much after
that.
It is not clear who actually invented this Australian icon though
the meat pie has been around for about 150 years.
Andrew McDonald and Doug Grevett worked on building
sites and became increasingly annoyed with workers that needed a
toilet and just used any toilet they could find, regardless of the
fact of whether the plumber had already been around to actually
connect the toilet to the building's plumbing system. As you can
imagine hooking toilets and pipes that are already filled with shit
is not a very pleasant job, not to mention the health risks involved.
It became an obsession for them and they invented the no dump blocking
plate which sits over the toilet bowl to stop anyone using it before
it’s been plumbed in. The plate is made of steel and is fitted
to the inside rim of the toilet bowl using rotating brackets. The
plate is held on to the brackets using tamper-proof screws.
A Sydney doctor invented the original heart pacemaker
in 1926.

A car like a station wagon but with the rear part being just a bit higher and often without windows it made it a very practical vehicle for tradesmen to throw all the tools and stuff in and also became the vehicle of choice for hoons, usually with big V8 engines and wide tires. As there was plenty of room for a mattress in the back teenagers found the panelvan offered a hundred times more privacy and comfort than a backseat in a normal car and the panelvan developed a few nick names like 'sinbin' and 'shaggawagon' and was often decorated with a sticker announcing 'if this van is rockin', don't bother knockin'.
An Australian company has invented a contraceptive
to save your dog the traumatic trip to the vet to remove the vital
bits. This newly developed product involves inserting a small pellet
under the skin between the dog's shoulders that sends a signal to
the brain which stops the supply of testosterone to the testicles.
This will cause a loss of sex drive for the dog with the option
of reversing the operation if you later decide you would like your
dog to breed.
More info...
Melbourne company Acrux has developed a spray that
has shown to significantly improve younger women's sexual enjoyment
and satisfaction. So far the spray has been tested on 261 premenopausal
women aged 35-45 across Australia who had a low libido and testosterone
levels who had to record all sexual events along with the level
of satisfaction during a 16-week study. On average they reported
two more satisfactory sexual experiences a month than before taking
the hormone.
And in 2010 they reported that they will sell the world's first
armpit testosterone lotion for men in American stores next year
after receiving approval from the US Food and Drug Administration.

Dr Saul Weiner developed this and first started treating people with it in 1956, since then nobody in Australia has died from redback spider bites.
In April 1974 Australian former accountant Michael O'Brien invented streaking and introduced it to the world at Twickenham, U.K. on a chilly April afternoon when he interrupted a match between France and England. Since then his invention has been copied by numerous people, for instance 24 year old Erica Roe, who proudly paraded her 40DD assets in 1982 when Australia played England in a rugby Test and Sheila Nicholls who performed cartwheels across the pitch wearing nothing more than a grin during a 1989 Ashes Test between England and Australia. Mark Roberts is a veteran who has, at the time of writing this, done 273 runs but is currently waiting to see how much his run at the American Superbowl is going to cost him. Virtually every sport has seen its share of streaker action by now, even the boring old oldies sport of lawn bowls. Enterprising individual Brett Mutton ran onto the field during the Bledisloe Cup in 2002 with Vodafone painted on his body. Vodafone denied all knowledge or approval of this ( though quietly they must have been over the moon with this free publicity) and Brett Mutton himself was real pissed off when a Sydney court fined him $3500.- for this stunt.
Australia is a hot country and Australians always need to have their beer icy cold. Despite drinking their beer pretty quick most the time, they still found that the last bit became too warm so something was needed insulate the precious beer from the surrounding environment. So much to the delight of Aussies the stubby cooler was invented, it is made of either styrofoam or wetsuit material, the latter being the choice of serious drinkers as it easily folds up into your pocket so can be carried anywhere and be ready for action in a split second. Another amazing fact is that many Aussies manage to hang on to their favourite cooler for years and even when waking up in the morning and not being able to remember how they got home, the stubbycooler is always there next to the bed! Nowadays stubby coolers are sold in all tourist places with various prints making them a very practical souvenir.

Canvas bedroll, previously carried on the shoulder but nowadays seen tied on the back of utes and roofracks. Simply the best way to sleep under the magnificent Aussie stars. When treated right the canvas remains waterproof and you can even sleep out in the rain. Pictured above is the traditional model but nowadays many improvements have been made, modern swags have a bit of framework like a tent to give you more space and screens to keep the mozzies out. See more models or buy one online at Rangercamping.com.au . The song Waltzing Matilda was inspired on the swag, the dancing around of the swag hanging over your shoulder as you walk the Aussie bush was called ' waltzing Matilda'. Many Aussies wanted this song as the National Anthem, as the song is basically about a sheep thief it would have been suitable to represent a nation that grew out of prisoners and thiefs.
A brilliant Aussie invention to keep your feet warm....
George Kossoff and David Robinson built the world's first ultrasound scanner in 1961 at the Commonwealth Department of Health.

Short for utility and in other countries like the
U.S. known as pick-up truck, this type of vehicle was invented in
1932 at the Ford company and is still a very popular design, especially
in rural areas.
In many outback towns this is the main mode of transport for the
Aborigines, unfortunately this leads to a very high roadtoll as
accidents happen frequently and everytime a ute with a dozen people
in the back rolls over the statistics get another boost. In the
1990s laws were introduced to ban passengers in the back of utes
but in the outback where there is little police presence and often
no alternative to get from A to B this has not made too much difference.

Invented by Fred Walker in 1923, and named through
a public contest, this is a dark yeast extract made from the leftovers
of beer brewing, similar to Promite and Marmite, which Aussies spread
on sandwiches. It is that important to them that Australian embassies
around the world frequently get calls from desperate Aussies asking
where they can find the Vegemite importer in that country. I have
even heard Aussie embassy staff talking about flying Vegemite in
inside the diplomatic bags. Some people have even been known to
drink it, dissolved in a glass of hot water. Newcomers to Australia
are unlikely to enjoy this powerful tasting stuff and usually have
only one try, pull some funny faces and then never touch it again,
it tastes very salty, even though the salt content has been reduced
from 10 to 8 percent. In 1935 U.S. based Kraft Cheese bought Vegemite
so this Australian icon is not even Australian owned anymore.
You can even cook with it to produce some real Aussie tucker, click
here for some recipes....
In 2009 Kraft came up with the idea to start producing a blend of
Vegemite and Kraft cheese, supposedly easier to spread and milder
in taste than the original. A competition was held for the public
to come up with a name for the new stuff which was won by 27 year
old West Australian web designer Dean Robbins who came up with the
name iSnack 2.0 , Dean was beside himself with pride and thought
he'd go down in Australian history as the one who named the new
icon, but only four days later, long before statues of Dean could
be built or his face placed on stamps and coins, Kraft announced
that nobody liked the name and they're going to choose a new one.
Once again the help of the public is requested, this time to choose
a name from a shortlist of six; Cheesybite, Creamymate, Smooth,
Snackmate, Vegemate and Vegemild.
Latest news flash 07/10/2009; the new name is Cheesybite!
Oysters have long been known as an aphrodisiac, but
NSW oyster farmer George May thought he could do better and started
lacing his oysters with Viagra hoping for lucrative markets in Asia
where many men are obsessed with all sorts of ways to increase their
virility. ( To the point where they will drink urine from tigers
and rhinoceros for perceived benefits.)
Unfortunately, no matter how good the idea may have sounded, there
are always a few whingers out there, and so the NSW Food Safety
authority says it is illegal and breaches the NSW Food Act and also
Pfizer was not happy with their trademarked name being used in this
way and threatened with legal action, but George reckons that countries
outside Australia have different regulations so even if they are
illegal in Australia he can still sell them overseas, and change
the name to get Pfizer off his back.
The great Aussie lawnmower, invented in 1952 in Sydney by Victor Richardson, he first started building them in his shed in the backyard but nowadays around six million Aussies are estimated to be using one.
In 1967 Thomas Angove came up with an alternative to the wine bottle; a plastic bag inside a cardboard box and a tap instead off a cork so you have no worries looking for a corkscrew. A hugely popular invention. Can also be recylced into a pillow when you are finished with the wine, simply place your mouth around the tap and inflate to desired size. Tip; to get the last bit of wine out of the cask rip open box, take out bag, inflate a little by blowing air in, and then pour wine out.
Do you know of (or made) some amazing Australian invention? Then contact us!
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